IF I RULE THE WORLD
by FingerLickingGood
Summary: So there was Naruto who had just awaken when someone had practically banged his door with a hammer. Well, not exactly but that was how it sounded to him.


NARUTO CRACKFIC-IF I RULE THE WORLD

I DO NOT OWN D&G, PARAMOUNT PICTURE OR NARUTO.

KEY: [TV narrator], ["actor speaking"], 'Character speaking'

* * *

So there was Naruto who had just awaken when someone had practically banged his door with a hammer. Well, not exactly but that was how it sounded to him. He was groggy but damn the door wouldn't shut until he decided no rest would do good with a banging door in tact.

He went to see who the shit that was going to die hard once he got there but see no one. Only that greeted him was a piece of stupid white envelope, with the initial S emblem on the front, taking up half of the envelope itself.

Of course, just S won't tell him anything. It could be from Shino, Sakura or Sai. Or Sasuke, even, though he did wonder why would Sasuke bother since he was so far away in the Orochimaru's hideout. He took up the envelope and tear the lid. There was a video tape in it and Naruto was wondering why on earth the video tape was sent to him.

Plus, he didn't have a video player than his old nerve wrecking box called TV. It was so old that he could pass it for free to the second hand shop with no profit feedback at all.

'You got to be kidding me', he said when a little note that attached together fall down to the floor. He picked it up, reading it to the line where it ended.

It said: The title is "if I rule the world", kindly edited by Hidan, recorded by Kisame. Manuscript is originally of S and beta read by I. Produced by Oro in corporation of Pein. Made for D&G.

Naruto squinted as much as he could to understand what in the world the letter/note was talking about. This was a weird note. It wasn't that he wanted to know who made the video, he was just curious what was inside. The fact that it needed a player before hand was much more worrying. Who in Konoha would buy that expensive machine if it was unnecessary?

'I know who doesn't have the thing. Could try the Hyuuga. They are rich enough to own one', and when he did go, the Hyuuga said 'no, they haven't got one'. So, he went to the next house he could think of; Kiba but of similar result. Then, Kiba suggested the name Shino, the bug boy he had known to be the leader of the Kurenai's team.

He did argue that Shino won't need such a thing but Kiba said, 'try'. When he got there, Shino confirmed his ownership of a video player. He was insanely happy and immediately went in to watch but not before inviting his other friends who were available to join. That included Gaara since he was visiting Konoha for a week.

Everyone that was present sat cross legged, holding a cup of tea in each hand and stared at the TV. The Paramount picture copyright trademark slid in and faded to black to the next scene of a big city.

[City of New York], the narrator said [is a city of fame and power. Here, in search of power, a teenage boy, Sasuke Uchiha had arrived in the edge of the metrapolitan]

The screen focused onto a young man, almost unrecognizable, very handsome and his figure was very defined, standing at the side of the road with his bag pack. [He heard rumours but unsure if it was true. He came to a conclusion that he needed to see it for his self] the narrator continued.

The young man's hair was black with very stylish like the one Sasuke had. (In fact, if he looked closely, it was Sasuke). The actor (which was Sasuke) walked in the middle of the road, almost being hit by the lorry and luckily, he had a fast reflex that he jumped to the side in time to escape death.

["Damn, I should watch the road closely. They have weird machine here"] the actor said, brushing his pants lightly. [He had been in a mega city, facing mega cottongun that cause mega explosion, and encountered the blue fish man mutant- what else was awaiting for Sasuke?] Naruto had to agree, the narrator had an amazing voice (it was Deidara's by the way). The scene changed again. It zoomed out until the actor and a giant building was shown on the TV.

["Shopping complex. It is so fucking big"] the actor exclaimed in surprise. Ino and Sakura thought they would love to go shopping there. It was the size of twenty hokage towers put together; that big. The camera followed the actor into the building.

["They are so many things here. Why only now have I arrived in heaven?"] said the actor, background music acquainted his silky voice.

["Hello, meh man"] another actor was out. He was wearing a baggy pants and tight top. ["You smell funny"] said the other actor to the main character.

["And why is that?"] asked the main character. Everyone could see his eyebrows knitting together closely.

["I ain't answering your silliness, dude, but I'm gunna ask. What will you do if you rule the world?"] it was like a trick question to the main character. He gave some valuable second to think until he came out with an answer.

["I would rape my Naru-chan. He's a dobe but he's cute and he's mine. If I rule the world, I would kill Oro and my brother with a snap of my finger and fucking Naruto would be my hobby. If I rule the world, I would give a law that everyone can do sex even if the street is crowded so I won't be the only one pounding the Uzumaki's ass. That is of course, if I rule the world"] said the main character. That was actually a valiant answer and valid to the ears of the other actor.

["Well, what's your name, sir?"] asked the other actor.

["Sasuke Uchiha"] said the main character.

["Well, Sasuke, rule your world with power. It makes your life complete"] said the other actor, passing something that looked like a bottle to Sasuke.

The scene changed as it zoomed in to just the bottle. [Power makes you confident. A step to your fantasy life] then the screen was black.

Everyone that was watching was dumbfounded. Commentary? They had none. Someone had to speak, everyone thought but nobody did, until Hinata broke the silence.

'That was Sasuke', said Hinata, too shock to stutter.

'It is a perfume commercial! I am fucking sure it is', Ino cried.

'It's Dolce and Gabanna', agreed Neji.

'I like his fantasy though. Quote, "if I rule the world, Naruto better be prepare"', said Kiba, giggling at the humour.

'He didn't say it that way', Naruto chided. No way was Sasuke stealing even a peek of his ass. He checked his clothes.

'I better get baggier. That Uchiha could be anywhere near me', said Naruto.

Out far, through the binocular, Sasuke frowned. 'How's it going, otouto?' asked Itachi.

'I intended to make he become braver to be out without those over size thing to get a better peek of his ass but it seems to me, he's getting himself fully covered', said Sasuke unhappily. Itachi looked bored but smirked when an idea came.

'If D&C doesn't work, what about durex? It's full of life', suggested Itachi.

'Sounds great to me', Sasuke agreed and the Uchiha brothers started to make their planning.

Durex commercial would be a lot of fun, would it not?

* * *

THIS IS A ONESHOT BUT IF YOU WANT A DUREX COMMERCIAL SEQUEL, I MIGHT GIVE A THINK OF IT.


End file.
